American Idol, Season 14, Episode 3: All high pitched and quirky (Will’s take)

For Hollie’s take on this episode, click here

It’s been a long 6 days but finally we are back and are treated to seeing the best of the bus. Idol is “taking it to the streets” which means another montage featuring this famous and mysterious bus, a map and a lot of potential Idols who apparently waited on long lines, outside a bus.  Did the auditions happen on the bus? Did the kids get on the bus if they were selected or was the bus just full of talent scouts and scones? I don’t think we’ll ever know but we are 3 episodes in and the Idol Bus has gotten more airtime than Ryan.


On to the talent: We start off strong with Big Sexy. He’s affable and quite the character and of course you have to root for him. He comes in with swag singing “Jenny from the Block” and immediately you know he’s getting a ticket. Then I go from excited to annoyed. He’s still likeable and is crooning to J-Lo at which point Keith and Harry go into ultra-shtick mode. Big Ron jokingly tells them they were rude and I non-jokingly agree.


Next is a really high pitched theater dude from New York. He’s not good enough but he’s also not bad enough to be classified as absurd and I am again rubbed the wrong way as Harry has a bit too much fun with him before the judges send him packing. He’s got good insight for the kids and is light hearted and funny, but Harry is starting to be a bit of a bully. If my wife thought he was ugly, I’d still say the same thing.


Montage time. Lots of kids with guitars including that dude Casey Thrasher who we’ve seen in a prior season, along with an in depth backstory profile. I can’t wait to revisit this and see how he has remade himself! But wait – as quickly as they show him with a golden ticket – he is gone and Hollie and I are left to wonder if he has a 3 year old at home in his grandparents house or if he is living out of the backseat of his car because “he loves music and can’t do anything else”.


Now things start to get interesting. It’s a blue haired funky accordion player. How’s this going to go??? I haven’t been this interested in seeing a women with an accordion since Judy Tenuta’s HBO One Night Stand Special (PS. Can you imagine being invited to dinner at Judy Tenuta and Emo Phillips’ house? What do they talk about? Do they have normal friends? Does anyone younger than 35 know who I am talking about?). Anyway – the chick with the squeezebox has an interesting voice and is actually genuine but Harry wisely advises her not to border on novelty.


Alexis Gomez gets some air time, and while she has the package (ie. good looking) she seems middle of the road so I don’t think we’ll see a ton more from her. The half Mexican, country, hippie is followed by the unassuming cowboy and both our living room and the judges panel are all in.  See you in Hollywood Anton. Next, the quirky 18 year old with a high voice, old soul and crush on Steve Perry gets a golden ticket and I can’t wait to see more of this loveable weirdo.


Time for the 15 year old who has two deaf parents. Oh boy. Her family comes in to see her audition and her Dad has some Sonos type hearing aid system that has allowed him to hear little Ashley sing from across the room. She is out of tune and as I watch and cringe at the thought of her not making it, I also wonder out-loud if her Mom lost the hearing aid coin toss that morning. Awful. Doesn’t seem fair and now the judges send her home. Hollie asks if I am crying and I just dump my head back into my eggplant parm.


YESS!!! BANJO! What is going on tonight? I am fully expecting to see Dr Teeth on the keys and Janice on guitar in the next segment. The bluegrass girl is good and she is through but if the Swedish chef walks through the door with a triangle, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised. Anyway – I can’t wait to see what poor soul gets put in the same group as banjo girl and the accordion lady during Hollywood week.


Finally, it’s time for the closing segment and it’s a guy who is battling depression by travelling. He says the loneliness is terrible but it’s a blast. Hmm. His voice is odd but he’s interesting and the judges ask this eccentric fella if he is going to do what he needs to, in order to win this completion.  No – Harry – I don’t see Kholton answering “who is your favorite celebrity crush” in the Coca Cola lounge or giggling at the premier of Rio 4, but why not give this kid a good night’s sleep at the Hollywood Sheraton.


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