You know how people say that in your 30s you really get to “know who you are?” Well our truth lies in the fact that we love American Idol. I encouraged my husband to write down his amazing summaries typically saved for family. So i did too, because am I just going to sit around and look like an idiot while he’s doing this?
There is a fairly good chance that by this time next year I will not remember more than 3 of Season 14’s Top 12 but as of now I can’t wait to get a peek at this year’s crop of underwhelming teens and 20 somethings. But wait – hold onto your golden tickets – it’s an “Idol first! “As Ryan dramatically tells us, this season we’ll get to see the top 24 BEFORE the actual auditions. #idoldesperation
I don’t like it already. Why are they spoiling my fun for the first several weeks as I go city to city with the gang in search of the next Taylor Hicks or Kris Allen??? Let’s let this thing play out….What’s the rush????
As I grumble, we are shown a dramatic opening and behold – instead of seeing the Idols, I am just teased with their silhouettes and will spend the next 3 fortnights trying to match voices and body types with the shadowy figures I caught a glimpse of in this special “idol first”. This might not be as bad as I thought, but why the need for an overproduced opening which looked like a post-apocalyptic movie outtake. Too much polish at this stage of the game. I like my talent raw. If something with my Idols is going to be over-produced, I want there to be a Ford Fiesta involved.
As we move through week 1, I am keeping my eye out for what might become the Selfie of Season 14. The producers have already gone overboard with lame hashtags (were you racing to see what people were saying about #IdolSlowDance?) and Ryan has surely lost his selfie dignity with last year’s fixation on photos. Will “guitar go-pro” become a household term among AIs Greatest Generation viewing base? Or will this new “wall” somehow become an inane and annoying prop referenced all season?
In terms of talent, there were a few kids that piqued my interest but I am finding myself less inspired by these stories and more worried that the talented barista might have his “days serving coffee over” – but only because he cant get his job back after being sent home from Hollywood. How many of these would be stars “make it” to the AI big stage only to have reality come crashing back in? It doesn’t take too long as the AARP sponsored tour cancels dates soon after those kids get on the bus.
I bet you can find Jeena Irene playing in an Elk’s Club in Ann Arbor Michigan right now.
For now – let’s remain hopeful though.
It’s season 14 and my Wednesday and Thursday nights are locked in for the winter. It’s time to hibernate, hunker down, eat take out and find our top 12.
I am also excited that I think the shine is starting to wear off Harry. Last season my wife was all about HCJ but I sense his self confidence and “goofy” antics are wearing thin. Harry’s days as the ladies’ favorite are numbered. I’m calling it.
Don’t quit that coffee job yet, son
We are very excited to welcome Season 14 of American Idol into our household this evening. Much like how one needs to work on their marriage after its shiny newness fades, in recent years we’ve been betting on all things Idol to shake things up, along with my sister and brother in law, Joy and John. This competition of using our own Jimmy Iovine skills to guess who will be eliminated week after week culminates in a bottle of whiskey being handed to the victor. A bottle of whiskey adorned with the likenesses of each of the top 12 kids, whose names quickly become trivia questions during long drives (we rarely remember their names when we go to make the bottle after obsessing over them for the season, fame is fleeting, kids). Joy has won the past three years. Will and I are downright embarrassed by this losing streak, distracted by picking winners from the doe eyed boy band types and church gospel enthusiasts, forgetting the demo of the American Idol viewer are 43 year old accounts receivable ladies from Indianapolis.
Right from the get go, I’m concerned. I get a text from my sister before our Indian food arrives asking if we saw, “the new rules.” I’m assuming she’s referring to Ryan introducing the docent mediocre voices of the top 24, shockingly revealed in silhouette. What’s running through my mind is, “do we keep this episode on DVR so we can cheat when selecting our top 24?” Then, a startling abbreviated version of the intro music queues up the night— the Idol “ooohooooh” are autotuned this year, this can’t be good!
Our first stop on the tour is Nashville, which, Keith Urban, is NOT YOUR HOMETOWN so please stop!
We shook off the discomfort of the disguised singing silhouettes as we slipped into the certainty of the first person being really good, anyone with B roll from their home getting a ticket, and the Ghetto Kid who would die if they didn’t have music and they aren’t that great but oh my god, GIVE THEM A TICKET JLO so they can stay in a hotel for a few days and can I adopt them??
My favorite guy of the night didn’t get a ticket, but he was the token weirdo, and from staten island, and kinda looked like my sister if she were a not as attractive dude.
I’m concerned to highly concerned about the Go Pros on everyone’s guitars… is this the “selfie” of 2015?
The auditions were fairly banal, but gun to my head I pick Corey, the kid from the coffee shop across the street who got an hour off of work to audition. Season 14 ain’t my first rodeo, I know that Corey probably spent a solid 27 hours total in auditions and call backs. And I’m also fairly certain that every single employee at this coffee shop also went across the street to audition, so I’ll just have to let it go and count it as part of the Idol Magic that sweeps us off our feet every year.
I am happy to see the ‘you didn’t make it’ reel at the end, if only because it’s nice that kids today are still legitimately upset about not making it to Hollywood.
There’s a teaser that tomorrow’s show promises us the best from the Idol Bus Tour, which is something we have just come to accept that we’ll never understand.
GIDDY UP, I’m winning that friggin whiskey this year!