Slow news day: Fun things I learned about my purse on the subway

I’m done with the book I was reading and found myself with some time on my hands on the F train from Brooklyn to Manhattan. I spent some of my time avoiding the homeless woman who had shat herself and was moving car to car despite my attempts to stay one ahead of her. When that was done, and I searched through my bag. Two things learned:

Keep away from fat! I remember once me and my friend stole about 6 dozen fried garlic bread sticks from the Hauppague Pizza Hut lunch buffet. I don't think I could do that with this bag. Growny uppy.

Also:

Oh nuts, that wasn't trial sized hand moisturizer! And I put it on right before shaking an interviewer's hand. You know, I thought it was watery.

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