On our first Xmas, 4 years ago, Hollie took the time to make me a personalized coupon book. To her dismay, I still have this book and found it today.
Hollie: So what. Those coupons are expired!
Will: Actually says on the first page “No expiration date”.
There are several I have yet to redeem as I have used them strategically. Some good ones left include:
- One pass to get out of walking the dog. Hollie claimes this is only good for Murphy since it was given pre-Caya and the illustration only seems to depict one dark, goofy, insecure mutt.
- One Tivo slot for a Sci-Fi, Political or War based TV Show or movie. Hollie and I have to negotiate adding new shows to our joint watching regimen. I generally have to cajole her to watch shows like 24 (fortunately she has a crush on Jack Bauer) and Lost.
That's Loony! Judge Judy is the last show we've agreed upon.
- Thirty (30) Minutes of Quiet. When I first received this coupon, I immediately had the foresight to ask that I could redeem this in 5 minute increments. I still have 25 minutes left!**
I wish I thought of redeeming this during a recent fight when Hollie hurled a 5lb bag of onions at me (although this would have resulted in either 1. breaking the tension or 2. breaking off our engagement...good story either way)
* Hollie does not like any movie or TV show with: too much tension, complexity, gore, suspense, fantasy, possibility of a bad ending, potential for an animal to get hurt and/or anything that would result in her having too many questions or require her to keep track of too many characters. This essentially only leaves us with How I Met your Mother, Project Runway and any Hugh Grant movie. As you may imagine, going to the movies (despite the fact that we love 1/2 block from one), is not a common field trip at the Home Office
** The 5 minutes I did claim occurred shortly after I received this book, while driving an inebriated Hollie home from a holiday party in NJ. It was snowing so hard I could only see a few feet in front of me, and there was 2 mins left in an important Giants game. SHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: holiday coupons, jude judy, movies
My favorite part of the Biggest Loser is when the trainers pull aside one of the contestants for a heartfelt one-on-one conversation, which inevitably leads to a shameless plug for a sponsor. The transition is so un-smooth, it’s glorious.
Last night’s conversation was a gem and centered around the contestant’s fear of going back into normal society.
Contestant: I am just nervous about how I am going to make time to exercise in my daily routine and how to make sure I put my health as a top priority in my day to day.
Jillian: You’ve come so far already, I am very proud of you. And…a good cereal to snack on when you are at home is Whole Grain Cheerios. They are nutritious, tasty and a great pick me up. Just remember that and you will be fine!
"C'mon! Just 3 more! And when you are done, I have some tasty apple slices that have been kept fresh by these Glad Resealable Bags.....Keep pushing!"
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Tagged: biggest loser, Glad, Jillian, cheerios
I was literally just thinking how great the subways have become. 15 years ago I would not be able to travel at 8 pm from Brooklyn to grand central as I am this evening, I thought to myself.
Then I look next to me and an old man has his penis out.
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Tagged: nyc, subway
There’s been some problems in the workplace. I’ve undertaken a big labor intensive project in conjunction with my mom’s upcoming 65th birthday that has kept me up till 2 am and will probably do so for the next 3 days. Plus I’m being forced to take Spanish classes. And hounded to write a blog post.
I argue, “This is why it’s a joint blog, write something yourself.”
Will argues, “But you’re funnier.”
Which is true, but I’m exhausted, and I have a focus group to attend in an hour. Oh, and he wants to discuss the blog format. I argue, why don’t you start writing things before worrying about format. Man, that guy has management written all over him.
Where is HR, I want to submit a formal complaint.
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– iPod
– laptop
– PA Dutch guide book, which parents just happened to have lying around of course
– list of Cleveland restaurants featured on “diners, drive thrus and dives”
– list of medical ailments to get checked out (friend we’re visiting is a dr, albeit a radiologist)
Of course we forgot the aerobed and pillows. And my makeup. Eh, it’s Cleveland.
Right about now realizing we wasted a dog sitting credit. And that we could have left tomorrow. Aren’t there 3 day deals to Jamaica? Doh!
This pic just sums up a road trip to Cleveland doesn’t it
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The home office is dropping off the interns at Grandma’s house and hitting the road. We’ll have a special guest, Artie Lange’s audiobook, and some beef jerkey on this good old fashioned road trip to Cleveland.
Beyond the Rock and Roll HOF, Lebron James and that my friend now lives there, I know very little about Cleveland.
On the way we may detour to Pennsylvania Dutch country. Hollie has not stopped talking about making pretzels, seeing beet farms and interacting with “real live Amish people”. *
I am personally looking forward to deep fried brussel sprouts.
*Hollie spent many a summer family vacation in Lancaster, PA and keeps regaling me with tales from Dutch Country. I have a feeling the “good food” and “awesome fun” that she is getting giddy about might be a tad bit disappointing 25 years later.
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We’ve come to realize that in addition to being a bully, Lucaya may also be a doggie bigot. It’s a bit embarrassing
if you look like this and you see a pretty red dog walking your way in Prospect Park, you should make a u-turn immediately!
Apparantly, Caya’s got beef with fluffy white dogs.
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Live from bed:
Will: “I forgot to tell you… I hope it was dog poop, and not human poop, but…”
Hollie: “Wow, any sentence that begins with that is not going to end well”
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Before joining the home office we took advantage of Will’s VIP status at Disney and went to Disney World on the [relative] cheap.* Of course there is nothing really cheap about Disney. It was all behind us but we were reminded a couple days ago when Disney sent us an email that our online photos, taken by professional photographers throughout the parks, were about to expire. We better order now or lose precious memories forever!
We only relied on these carefully situated photographers at the water park, where we didn’t have our own camera with us. I was truly disgusted, though not surprised, to learn that a mere 4×6 photo would cost $14.99 to order. Oh, you want to just print the photo out yourself? Yeah, that’ll be $14.99 to download the photo as well. Then I had a solution…
FU Disney, we're taking pictures of our pictures. Btw, we had the same method at all the "see yourself on the ride" photos at the park. Cheap and clever, we are.
Of course I kinda regretted this because Will spent the next 3.5 hours on the project.
Look at these happy people splashing around in Typhoon Lagoon and ripping off Disney
Not bad, right? We figure we’re not blowing pictures of ourselves up to poster size, just enough to get the point across. And I wasn’t going to pay actual money for “not good but funny” photos such as:
In this impressive display of upper arm strength, Hollie tries to hoist her ass out of the water coaster tube.She will lose the struggle and end up tipping herself over. And yes, the lighter person is supposed to go in the front.
BTW Typhoon Lagoon kicked ass, but might have been because the park was pretty empty, so as soon as we got to the bottom we would just climb back to the top and have another go. Oh, and we didn’t have to pay for it.
* Fortunately the company is such a mess and cared so little about the takeover of Will’s company that he didn’t even get docked vacation days. I don’t even think they knew he wasn’t in the office. Opposed to at the home office where we are fully aware of one another’s vacation days and who owes who dog walks.
** I could really write about 500 posts about various things from Disney. When I’m out of material i’ll pull up a picture or facebook status from our week there and expound. hold on to your horses.
HOLLIE UPDATE I just reread this. Wow, we’re really cheap. Or “careful with money” as some might say.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: disney world
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